Thursday, February 21, 2013

Our Dreams

"Let's promise to never be too afraid to live our dreams."

-Nathan on One Tree Hill

A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I broke up. Or my ex-boyfriend and I broke up? It's all pretty new to me. He was the first person I had a real relationship with, and we dated about three years. It's hard, and all I could think right after we decided to end it was, What happens now?

I started to look up things to fill my time with, besides wallowing and watching One Tree Hill on Netflix. Not that it's a bad show. It just gets a little depressing sometimes. Eventually I started looking up stuff about my schools study abroad trip to Costa Rica. Not in a serious way, but in a looking up cute outfits on Pinterest way. Awesome, but I wasn't about to shell out the money for it. I've never left the country before, never even been away from home for more than two weeks. But I actually really wanted to do it. I wanted to see a volcano, to visit a banana plantation, to change my surroundings. But I was afraid. 

When I was in high school I spent three spring breaks rebuilding homes in New Orleans and Galveston. That was awesome. After those experiences I decided to go on a weekend trip with a youth group I wanted to get involved with. That was not awesome. I didn't know anyone very well, and as my socially awkward self I hung out on the fringes of the group for three days and was relieved when the trip was over. Then the winter after high school I went on a road trip with my now ex-boyfriend and his friends. The van we were in broke down in Alabama (I live in Illinois) and my ex and I were stuck in a hotel for a few days waiting for the van to be fixed while everyone else rented a car to drive home. That was okay, though. Fights were starting and I'm pretty sure if we were stuck in a hotel together any longer we would have killed each other. What was bad was being in a small town with no car for three days. What was HORRIBLE was some problem with the water pressure, which led to the water being shut off in the whole town. What few restaurants they had closed, and it took an hour to walk someplace to get food. For some reason that made me hesitant of ever traveling again.

So I just sat at my computer looking at pictures of Costa Rica and thinking about how wonderful it could be, or how absolutely terrible it could be. Then I heard the quote above. Let's promise to never be too afraid to live our dreams. Something happened to me, and all of a sudden I knew I had to go. Maybe the trip will be horrible and I'll wish I hadn't spent the money. But maybe the trip will be amazing and life changing and I'll think I was crazy to ever consider not going. So I emailed my Spanish teacher and signed up. The trip doesn't start until May, and I'm still nervous. But I just keep thinking I don't want to be too afraid to live my dreams.

I hope you see this quote and you're encouraged like I was. Maybe you like someone but you're too afraid to do anything about it. Maybe you want to move away for school but you're afraid to leave your friends and family. Just think about your dreams, and if you're willing to sacrifice them because of fear. Whether it's fear of rejection, being alone, embarrassing yourself. Are you willing to risk them?  I don't think I am.

So...
I promise to never be too afraid to live my dreams.


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